Lost & Found In 2020
This post was originally published in January 2021 and I wanted to memorialize it on the blog. If you’re feeling lost or found, this one is for you!
HOW I BECAME LOST AND FOUND IN 2020
LOST - Sense of feeling safe in my own body.
This year we suffered a near home invasion, online stalking/bullying, a tornado that severely damaged our home, covid diagnoses, attack mice in our pantry, 2 broken bones and 17 stitches in total.
To say that I felt unsafe would be an understatement. At first, I pulled way back - off of social media, away from podcasting & professional relationships. I can identify that my anxiety was telling me that the world was unsafe. And while she wasn't wrong, pulling back wasn't going to be a long-term solution.
FOUND - A Sense of Safety Through Movement.
Through a slow and steady practice of daily movement that followed the guiding principle that EVERYTHING counted as enough, I slowly began to feel capable in my body's ability to provide a sense of safety.
I even stretched way outside of my mind/body comfort zone to accept a position as a Bellicon Rebounder Trainer. The new format, and, well - the bouncing in general - offered me access to joy and movement in a way that felt easy and free. You can often see me giggling and goofing in my classes - a pure example of the ease of mind that comes from playful movement.
I also found clarity and support in the initiation of my new online platform, JZ Studio. Instead of working from a model that existed, I dove into the methodology that has served me personally, as well as my work with clients and the way forward was clear: Low-impact movement practices that provide access to the movement and mental capabilities we require for our daily lives. I'm 100% in my happy place, filming classes and interacting virtually with you. I hope you'll join me for class in the year to come!
It has been through investing in a practice of my own design that I began to find myself again and venture out into the world in nature and through sharing my teaching to connect with others. The world still feels a bit unsafe, but my body is the #1 place I go to recalibrate and remind myself that I have choices amidst the chaos.
LOST: Faith in my Pilates Profession
The term "dumpster fire" has been used frequently to describe 2020 and the Pilates Community has not been immune from this analogy. From missed leadership opportunities to help struggling professional, to online bullying and also complete avoidance of issues of racism and lack of diverse representation in our professional communities, the outlook has been bleak for Pilates.
At the beginning of quarantine, I was asked frequently if I thought the profession would "die." My answer was: "I hope so. So we can come back stronger and more convicted about our gifts and where they are needed in the world."
There is still so much work to do, but I found that the reason my faith was waning was not due to a lack of action from others, but rather the inaction of my own efforts.
FOUND: Faith In Our Individual Efforts To Create A Ripple Effect
Taking responsibility for my own business, voice, commitments and actions led to a reimagining of my first conference: Brink. Creating an online space where many voices could contribute and lead important conversations for the future of the Pilates & Wellness Profession proved to be one of the most important actions that could be made in establishing the kind of change I want to be a part of. Leadership starts with us and I am convicted about offering learning and growth opportunities that will help YOU access your own powers of leadership. I believe we can create more change in our individual efforts than any one organization can accomplish alone. I hope you feel the same!
